Devious Devices

I was sat in my favourite armchair one evening last week, reading the Vendetta and enjoying a brandy – from the last shipwreck, you remember? Lovely stuff. Anyway, there I was, glass in hand, God in his Heaven and all right with the World when I became aware of a soft clicking. Now I don’t own a clock and this noise seemed to be moving around, so I sat as quiet as I could. You know how it is when you are straining to hear something, every sense becomes heightened and damn if didn’t see something move near the top of the curtain, just out of the corner of my eye. 

I softly put the glass down, rolled up the paper and advanced on the curtain with the grace and stealth of a Leopard. Don’t scoff – a Leopard, I tell you. Anyway, the ticking got a little louder and when I saw movement again I brought that damned rag down with all the force I could muster. I may even have shouted “Gotcha!” or something similar. Thought it might have been one of those Succubus Wasps or something similar. You remember the problems they caused to Milton Watt last month? Well, I’m not having that happen here, I tell you. 

So I whacked whatever it was and it fell to the floor. Imagine my surprise on picking it up to see that the damned thing was a contraption. Little metal legs and a small glass bead sitting in the middle like a damn eye. Well, I took it into the kitchen, picked up my meat tenderizer and made damn sure it wasn’t going to scuttle around again. 

The curious thing is that I was certain there was a little cloud of dust or smoke that came out of it when the bead shattered and I’m not too ashamed to tell you that I felt like someone had walked over my grave.


Would you like a little of that brandy? I’ll get a glass. Oh! Incidentally, you know that problem I’ve been having with Sheldon – the fact that he seems to have been aware of all my movement recently, near making me paranoid? Well, I saw him yesterday and it looks like Karma has struck. Poor chap’s gone blind in one eye.

Rules for creating Devices are now being written. That is all!


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